Fire Fire Fire

Ever wondered how you'll react in a crisis?? Will you be cool, calm and collected? Will you panic, curl into a ball and start sucking your thumb? I now know how I react. Not well as it happens. Somewhere between the previous two examples. It all started off so well, I had decided to cook steak and chips. Got me some meat and potatoes, prepared them, put the oil in a pan and started to heat it. I was so proud of my good start I decided to have a beer to celebrate while the oil was warming. After 15 minutes or so when the oil was nuclear I dumped in all of the chips. That was my first mistake, chip pan exploded with hot fat, it came into contact with the hob and hey presto, man has discovered fire. Cue smoke alarm and me screaming for my wife. She enters the inferno and promptly grabs the dog, runs out and closes the bloody door on me. I expertly managed to get the pan off the hob before it caught fire, then came the second mistake. I decided to beat out the flames using a cloth. After succesfully extinguishing the fire and feeling quite pleased with myself I noticed something irritating my hand, upon looking at said hand I discovered my life saving, fire beating cloth was on fire itself and burning my hand. After many minutes cleaning the blackened kitchen walls and the cooker itself, I found myself neither cool nor calm and sucking my blistering thumb. Steak was really good though. I am now firmly in the oven chips camp.