Fire Fire Fire

Ever wondered how you'll react in a crisis?? Will you be cool, calm and collected? Will you panic, curl into a ball and start sucking your thumb? I now know how I react. Not well as it happens. Somewhere between the previous two examples. It all started off so well, I had decided to cook steak and chips. Got me some meat and potatoes, prepared them, put the oil in a pan and started to heat it. I was so proud of my good start I decided to have a beer to celebrate while the oil was warming. After 15 minutes or so when the oil was nuclear I dumped in all of the chips. That was my first mistake, chip pan exploded with hot fat, it came into contact with the hob and hey presto, man has discovered fire. Cue smoke alarm and me screaming for my wife. She enters the inferno and promptly grabs the dog, runs out and closes the bloody door on me. I expertly managed to get the pan off the hob before it caught fire, then came the second mistake. I decided to beat out the flames using a cloth. After succesfully extinguishing the fire and feeling quite pleased with myself I noticed something irritating my hand, upon looking at said hand I discovered my life saving, fire beating cloth was on fire itself and burning my hand. After many minutes cleaning the blackened kitchen walls and the cooker itself, I found myself neither cool nor calm and sucking my blistering thumb. Steak was really good though. I am now firmly in the oven chips camp.

I'm the Daddy

44 days, what could you do in 44 days? Thats exactly how long I've got until my lovely hormonal wife squeezes out our son. If he's got any sense he'll hang on in there for as long as he can. As wifey sleeps I whisper against her ever expanding midriff " permission to land denied young skywalker, area is hostile", not sure if he understands but something must be getting through as he seems as restless as I am about todays world! Not only do I have to deal with Pregasaurus Rex but the credit crunch, terrorism, dancing on ice etc etc are making life these days a little bit tougher. Still I'm optimistic, whilst I'm up at all hours changing nappies, feeding baby, playing guitar hero, I'll be far too tired to take notice of the country spiralling out of control whilst the politicians talk of stimulus. Stimulus?? Four cans of red bull or any other energy drink, half bottle of vodka, thats stimulating. Politics and the economy couldn't get a rise out of me if PM's questions were hosted by Melinda Messenger with nothing but her ice skates on.